Thursday, October 27, 2011

Marketphobia and a Bucket Bath How-To

My family here is often amazed at the stuff I know how to do by myself, and the stuff I’m not afraid of doing. This stuff can be anything from knowing how to wash dishes, to knowing how to play an instrument, to not being afraid to bike all the way to the provincial town by myself in the baking sun. What they DON’T know, is I have a slight... marketphobia. I noticed this condition for the first time during training in Takeo. I LOVED going to the market with other Americans, browsing the Engrish shirts, trying new snacks, and practicing bartering for our necessities. But often when I went alone I feared the deafening silence that would always happen as soon as I walked in. Staring is not rude here. Look all you want, and don’t even bother to hide it! Conversations stop, and they just watch you. Sometimes they’re smiling. Usually not. And honestly, I know it’s not because they are territorial or in any way upset by my presence. They are just curious. But still, I’m not used to it. So I always felt like I couldn’t just browse around… to much attention! I had to get what I needed and get outta there.

Too much attention you say? But you’re in the PEACE CORPS! Meaning you’re the only person who doesn’t look like them probably for MILES! Of course you’re gonna get attention.
Yes but the market is attention x10. It’s so enclosed and its so packed with people. There’s no escape!

The market in my permanent site is actually even worse. Here, I’m positive there has NEVER been a foreigner to walk the paths of the market. So when I go to the market, jaws drop, dirty men laugh, babies cry.. you get the picture. Also, my market is a little flooded right now. Its actually just all mud. It’s nearly impossible to keep your balance in there. Once I fell right onto some raw pork. Good times.

Once you spot what you need to buy, like laundry soap or a pen, you’re usually okay. The seller will likely crack a smile, make some joke about you knowing Khmer, and laugh really hard as you try to barter. But, now you’ve broken the silence. Now you have a different problem. Now all the market ladies are swarming around you petting you, trying to talk to you, and talking about what you just bought and how much you paid for it.

Even if you do manage to be discreet about buying something, everyone will still know about it. You’re the only foreigner in town. When a seller says “the foreigner bought a hamper”, within 15 minutes, everyone will know. And then wherever you are, you can be sure it will come back to you. A mere hour after your purchase, someone will say “Oh, so I hear you bought a hamper!” Word travels at the speed of light in Cambodia.

So, needless to say, I do not go to the market all that often. At least not yet. I am working on this fear. In fact, I have come to find that I really like the market in Prey Vang and the one in Ang Tasom. I will tackle my fear of my market once the flooding goes down. In the meantime- its on a need-to-go basis.

 I have a need to buy a chamber pot. What’s a chamber pot? It’s what you pee into in the middle of the night, because you don’t have access to the bathroom that’s either outside or locked on the other side of the house. But if I go to the market to buy a chamber pot, you can be SURE that will be the talk of the town for a while. I’ll have to buy one next time a go to Prey Vang, where I have a little more anonymity.

What kinds of things can you buy at markets? Nearly everything. Lots of food- cooked and uncooked. Obviously you go to the market to buy ingredients, buy you can also go to sit and have a meal, or just have a snack. There’s all kinds of desserts, sticky rice cakes, and drinks. You can buy clothes, and you can have clothes tailored. There are bookstores where you can buy little notebooks, pens, and whiteout (Khmer students cant live without whiteout). There are shoe stores, bag stores, soap stores, toy stores, silverware stores, bike stores, fishing stores, and more.


Diana, what’s a bucket bath actually like?
Oh a good question, I’m glad you asked. It’s actually not as uncivilized as it sounds lol. Or maybe I’m just totally used to it already. So here are the steps. Take note, this is important.
1.      Change outta your sweaty clothes into your sarong. If you don’t know how to tie a sarong, ask your host mother. She will laugh at you, and she will touch your boobs, but she will be a good teacher.
2.      Wrap your towel around your shoulders, grab your basket of soaps, and head to the bathroom.
3.      Hang your stuff on the wall and take your spot next to the big water basin. (There is no tub. The whole room is the tub. There is a drain somewhere on the floor)
4.      Grab that little plastic bucket with a handle, fill it with water, and dump that baby over your head.
5.      Keep your mouth shut. Or you might eat mosquito larvae. Or malaria.
6.      Lather rinse repeat.
7.      Dry off. Put your sarong back on. Go back to your room. Turn on your fan and stand naked next your fan for a few minutes and pretend its air conditioning. Get dressed. Mission accomplished.

No matter how sweaty you are, those first few buckets over the head are cold. If you are already chilly or normal temperature, it is shockingly cold, and takes some self-pep-talking. This is why I choose to take my bath right after I get home from running. It feels gooood.

Peeasaa Khmer taa mych? Taking a bath in Khmer is “muyt tuk” I like to put English grammer on it. For example, I muyt tuked, or I enjoy muyt tuking.

One time during dinner I tried to make a joke that I smell bad (that’s always funny in America, but apparently in Cambodia that’s a serious accusation). They then spent the next 5 minutes assuring me that I do not smell bad because I know how to muyt tuk and wash my clothes. What can I say, I’m an expert muyt tuker.

Next time on “What’s it actually like”- Doing laundry!

Otherwise, nothing new really to report. I gave myself a couple hours of alone time vacation on Tuesday. I just biked to the provincial town and did my own thing. I had some lunch, iced coffee, ice cream, and I just sat and relaxed and studied some Khmer. I also did go to the market, but that was mostly enjoyable this time around. Teaching is going pretty well. I might be starting my first secondary project this week, which is a beginner English class for adults. We’ll see how that goes.








1. Diana and the puppy named Diana! (You know your a successful Peace Corps volunteer when something is named after you. I think many volunteers go for buildings. I'm cool with the dog).
 2-4. Beautiful sunset in my front yard in Takeo. 
5. Me and my host sister in Takeo the day I visited her at work. I just came from picking up trash at the school. Sorry I look so terrible compared to her! But yeah, she's gorgeous aint she? 
6. Independence monument in Phnom Penh.

Friday, October 21, 2011

A Very Loud and Wet Country

I am planning a project that I know will benefit everyone in Cambodia in the longrun, especially for ear health problems. I have noticed that Khmer people have a deep love for speakers. And not just little speakers. Big-DJ-style-at-the-club-huge-party speakers. Sure, they may be living in a tiny wooden house on stilts with no plumbing, holes in the walls, no screens on windows, etc, but you can be sure that they have a top-of-the line speaker.
The most common use of the speakers is Karaoke. As long as the karaoke-ers are not in my house, I’m okay with this. I actually enjoy running or biking past houses and hearing terrible terrible singing. I was exceptionally surprised and pleased to see that even houses where the entire downstairs is flooded, people are still upstairs karaoke-ing. Good for them. Just as a general rule of thumb though- I think you should turn it down. There is no reason for it to be so loud.
Then there are religious reasons that they use the speakers. Like I said in a previous post, even the WATS have speakers, and they use them to call the villagers out of their beds at four AM to come feed the ghosts during Pchum Ben. They also sometimes do prayers and chants over the speakers at the Wat or in someone’s house. If a person is sick, they will call on the monks to come pray with them. And that will all be sounded over the speakers so EVERYONE can know.
Similarly, speakers are used for weddings and funerals. Last week there was a wedding across the street from my house. Khmer traditional music started playing crazy loud over the speakers at 5AM. You know it’s crazy when it wakes me up WITH my earplugs. The speakers played all. day. long. Sometime after lunch I was trying to watch a movie on my laptop in the farthest corner of my property, and I devised a plan. As my first secondary project, I am going to confiscate all speakers in Cambodia. From now on you must have a license to use them. Of course, I’m kidding. But I fantasized about it for a while. In all honesty, they have no idea how they are destroying their ears. And I’m a musician! My ears are my job! Sometimes around 9PM I got a little more light-hearted about it because they started playing some American music. Apple-bottom jeans… boots with the furrr… I even managed to fall asleep before the wedding ended.

You might have seen on the news that there has been some bad flooding in southern Asia. In case you were teeth-chattering and knee-quaking worried about me, I’m fine. But yes, there is some bad flooding throughout the country. My house is okay-just a little mud. My school has some flooded areas, and my market is a little hard to get around. But there are some houses that have it pretty bad around me. There are houses where people are using boats to get around. Children are swimming in the downstairs of their house. I don’t know much about rice fields, but I’m pretty sure some of these rice fields are destroyed. After seeing how hard people work in the fields, this is devastating. The provincial city, which is 15 kilo away from my house, is settled alongside a lake. The lake is super high. It’s lapping over the concrete that is supposed to hold it in. It has rained quite a bit, but I think most of this water is spilling down from the north. Of course this causes more than just convenience problems. There are plenty of health risks with all this flooding, and plenty of economic risks because of ruined crops.
Next month is a big national holiday called water festival. For water festival, people from all over the country go to Phnom Penh to watch boat races. I’ve read some newspaper articles that said water festival is cancelled this year because the flooding damage needs to be paid for. It’s really unfortunate. Kinda like in Rudolph when Santa cancelled Christmas because he couldn’t see through the snow. I’m sorry, now is not the time for silly metaphors.

As for me, I’m doing alright. I’m teaching quite a bit- already more than I’m supposed to. Every teacher wants me to teach with them and every student wants me to teach them. It’s really really hard to say no. I get questions like “Why do you teach class 12E and not 12F? You could just come for an hour every week. You’re free during that hour anyway!” Or like “Why do I always see you with the same 3 teachers? When will you teach with me? I told my students that you would teach them.”
Being in a brand new Peace Corps site is a really exciting opportunity, but it definitely has its challenges. I’m having a really hard time explaining that I don’t work for only the school I work for the whole community and for Peace Corps. My work goes beyond the hours I spend at school. Also it’s very hard for me sometimes to not be taken advantage of. I have a co-teacher who keeps handing me the marker and then telling me something uber important that he has to do, and then leaving for a few hours. And I’m stuck teaching his class, which is so not my job. It’s a shame cuz I really like this co-teacher too. I’ve talked to him about it a bit, but it’s not entirely getting through. I’ll just keep trying. Patience is everything I think.
I am brainstorming a number of ideas for secondary projects that I am pretty excited about. The tricky part is finding a time where I can get help and participation from people. Students and teachers claim to be busy 12 hours a day. Maybe some are.. but I gotta really get to the bottom of this.
My family is wonderful. They do way more for me than what is in the invisible contract. At first I was a little disappointed because I was with a young couple with no children, instead of a large family where I am smack-dab in the middle like my training host family. But actually, I think this might have been exactly what I needed. I LOVED being a member of my training host family, but I was one of the kids. Here, I am treated a little more like an adult. The people I live with are my brothers and sisters. And I think this is essential in establishing myself in the community- especially because some of my students are only a year or 2 younger than me. It will be different, but it will be good.







1. and 2. Loveable Leeny.
3. Haha, this is a terrible picture of three members from my training host family. I think I love it though because I can picture them just looking at the camera in confusion and not understanding that a picture is being taken and what it would look like. 
4. There is no such thing as privacy when you are skyping to America. At least not in my training family.
5. and 6. The adorable puppy! which may or may not be named Diana. It has not yet been confirmed.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Welcome home, Diana.

Wow, its October 16th already?
Alright, well, on October 4th was our official swearing in ceremony. I had a traditional Khmer outfit made just for the occasion. My training host mother bought me beautiful fabric to have a sampot made, so I got that done. I also had one of those fancy frilly sparkly shirts made. It’s not really something I could get away with wearing in America, but I definitely do appreciate its beauty, and I enjoyed wearing it.

            The swearing in ceremony was attended by all the volunteers currently living in Cambodia (because we also had some training that morning), as well as the majority of Peace Corps staff (American and Khmer), the current American Ambassador (who I believe is actually just filling in for a few weeks or months? Or something? Shows how much I pay attention) and of course a few important people from the Cambodian Government, including the Minister of Health.

            I don’t know if I mentioned this before in a previous post, but I’ll explain it all here again. I was put in charge of organizing the music for the ceremony, which included the Khmer National Anthem and the American National Anthem. I asked the 60 or so trainees for volunteers to sing in a small choir and 5 brave talented souls took on the challenge. First, I made a simple 2 part arrangement of the Star Spangled Banner. Within 45 minutes of rehearsal, they had it. Then I learned the Khmer National Anthem, notated it, analyzed the chords, and wrote a harmony line for that too. This one was more challenging, obviously, but my singers took it on like champs! Realistically we probably rehearsed less than 3 hour in total, but we still managed to do it and do it well. I was so proud of all of them when we were singing, and I appreciate their patience with me and the music I wrote. Here is the video from that bit of swearing in.

            Then of course there were speeches. Two of or volunteers did a fantastic job of giving speeches in Khmer- a language we’ve barely known for 7 weeks. Our country director gave a speech. The Ambassador fill-in guy gave a speech (really, please, forgive me for my ignorance), and the Minister of Health gave a speech. Every person at the ceremony had a folder with the speeches printed out and translated into either Khmer or English. I particularly enjoyed the Minister of Health’s speech. I was listening to his Khmer and trying to follow along with the English- translating his flowery speech in my head. He was almost done, but then all of a sudden he completely goes off course. I can’t really follow him, but I do catch random phrases, such as “wash your hands”, “health”, “mosquito net”, “filtered water”, “condo… wait.. is he really talking about condoms?” Haha, we did get a brief translation of his 10 minute tangent, and sure enough, he was advising us to stay healthy and to teach our communities these ways of staying healthy as well. Wash your hands, sleep under a mosquito net, drink clean water, and wear a condom. I think that is right up there with my other favorite pieces of advice, which include:
1.      Don’t eat shit- our Peace Corps Medical Officer (really almost all of her medical topics could be boiled down into this one simple piece of advice).
2.      Eat when you can, sleep when you can, pee when you can- Our country director

Anyway, so moving on with the ceremony, after all the speeches, all the volunteers stood up, raised their right hand, and repeated after Penny. I don’t remember the words exactly (you can find them online if you’re interested) but it had to do with withholding the constitution  and committing to service. Sounds good to me. Then- voila! We were volunteers! The next 45 minutes were spent taking pictures with each other, with Peace Corps staff, and saying goodbyes, as we were moving to our sites the next day. Although we did celebrate that night, so goodbyes were not sad, and they were prolonged goodbyes.

The next day, I packed up my stuff, bought a few things at the supermarket to hopefully keep me sane over the next over the next few months when I can’t leave my province (purchases included a bag of unflavored oatmeal, a bag of pasta, Lucky Charms, and a small box of Couscous). Then I went to the bus station, bought a ticket, boarded, and was on my way.

I should also mention that during my time in Phnom Penh I purchased a violin. I actually used the tiny bit of money I have from home to buy a decent violin that I could practice with while I am here. I was SO excited, and it was actually hard for me to leave me hotel room and go out with my friends on the big city. Can you say NERD? Sorry, I don’t want to go dancing, I’d rather be practicing. But yes, I’m super happy about it. It was a lot of money, but I think it was an important purchase.

            The bus stops at Prey Vang province, which is past my house, so I had to pay attention and tell the bus driver to stop when I recognized my new home. This was tricky, as I only visited once, and for two days, and also Cambodian houses and streets tend to all look very similar. Sure enough we passed it, but I did recognize it. I had to walk back a short distance, with all my luggage. But my host sister was there to greet me, looking all excited. She took my heaviest bag from me and lugged it up the stairs and showed me my new room.

Thank goodness, it is not the same room I stayed in last time. This room is in the front of the house. It is MUCH bigger, and they put a smaller bed in it. I love a big bed, but I love space for my things more. There was even a nice desk and chair for me to have in there. I instantly love it, despite the cobwebs, holes in the wall ceiling and floor, spiders, and rats. Also, it has its own door leading to the patio. So I do not need to go through my brother’s and sister’s part of the house to get to my room. Although going to the bathroom is a different story.

I was surprised to find that there was another couple living in the house as well. They are somehow related. I think my brother and the woman are siblings.. its hard to tell because everyone just calls each other “bong” around here. They live in the back part of the house, actually in the room that I stayed in last time. They also fixed up the spare kitchen and another small bedroom in the back. They have like their own little apartment. But that’s also where the bathroom is. So to go to the bathroom, I have to walk through my brother and sister’s house, and this couples living space. So everyone knows when the foreigner has to go to the bathroom, and everyone sees the foreigner heading off to shower, or to brush her teeth. Somehow this is amusing.

The new woman is a Khmer language teacher I believe in the local primary school. The man is actually the deputy director at the high school I work at. I will likely use this to my advantage. The school director seems less than interested (or maybe nervous?) to talk to me, so I’m working on building some sort of relationship with this guy. When I first came he literally hid in his room from me, but I think I’m slowly winning him over. Now he likes to watch me eat and see if I’m enjoying eating Khmer food. One time I sat down and played some ukulele for him. I even showed him some pictures from home. I just want him to trust me, so that we can both feel comfortable with trying new projects down the road.

So I arrived at my house at around 4. I immediately started setting up my room, and making it fit the word “home”. I organized books, clothes, and storage spaces. I put pictures up on the walls. I set up my bed. I even designated which hooks would be for what purpose (hanging my instruments, or hanging my wet clothing?). The next day, I went to the market and bought myself a hamper, and scrub brush, and some laundry detergent. Welcome home, Diana.

That afternoon, I called one of my co-teachers to let him know that I have moved in. I just wanted to find out what time school started the next day so I could stop by, but he told me to meet him in 5 minutes. So I got on my bike and headed over to the school. He introduced me to a few more English teachers, including the one that my school director wants me to work closest with. They told me they wanted me to start teaching tomorrow. I was like “oooh woow slow down. Peace Corps wants me to observe for 2 weeks before I start teaching” (always blame it on Peace Corps, even if it is really because of you). I said that I would really like to observe all of the English teachers- yup all 10 of them. I just wanted to see the different teaching styles, and of course this would be a good way for me to try to get to know these 10 teachers.

The next day I observed a few different teachers. I enjoyed it. I’m pleased to say that I think almost all of these teachers are pretty good at what they do. I saw some good vocabulary teaching techniques, and it seems that they all have a fairly decent grasp on the English language. I think it is rare to find a school where all of the English teachers (especially when theres TEN of them) actually speak English. Technically there is one teacher I haven’t seen teach yet. I went to one of his classes, but instead of teaching his class of 50 students, he instead decided to give a complete and detailed life story, in English (most of which would go over his students’ heads). I’m not sure if he was trying to impress me or his students, but I’ll have to observe this guy another time, maybe when we’re a little deeper into the curriculum.

The second day, one of my co-teachers literally handed me the white-board marker and left the class- and didn’t come back for 2 hours. So much for observing for 2 weeks…

I did get to observe all of the teachers eventually, but I also ended up teaching a few more hours of this guys’ classes. Not with him, but for him. I’ve spent the last week trying to explain to him that my job is to teach WITH him, not INSTEAD of him. We’ll see if we finally have it straightened out this coming week.

I could keep going for pages and pages about my first few days at site, but that’s enough for now. I got things to do, markets to shop at, lessons to plan, miles to run, buckets to pour over my head, rice to eat, you get the picture. 







1. A typical Cambodian HS classroom, taken during practicum week during training. And teacher Erik, lesson planning. 2. Our last class of the week, we gave each student certificates as Pomp and Circumstance played over my borrowed speakers. This was our star student who we nicknamed Manchester United, because every english sentence he made had to do with this favorite soccer team. 3. All of our students and my 3 co-teachers during practicum. 4. My songsaa Vanessa making tomato sauce from scratch. 5. Glazed carrots that I MADE! WHAT NOW? 6. DELICIOUS pork ribs smothered in my Khmer teachers' special sauce. As you can tell- this was a ridiculously good meal.

I know I'm super behind on pictures. These pictures are OLD. well deal with it. I'll catch up soon.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Leeny, Pchum Ben, and the Flu

Once upon a time, there was a young man who was ruler of all of Takeo. His name was Leeny and he was 9 years old (Don’t let him trick you into believing he is actually 10).
Ok, I’m not gonna write in fairy tale this whole time. I’m too lazy. K’jill na. So my little brother in my training host family was the most well known little sucker in the whole town- both by Khmer families and all the trainees. And how could you not know him and love him?
He doesn’t really fit the bill for your typical Cambodian child. Firstly, by appearance. The kid is TOWAT! He’s quite large, you see. He is the biggest kid I’ve ever seen in Cambodia. But boy, is he proud of it. He walks around, fully aware of his recognizability (not a word), like he owns everything and everyone. Actually, Leeny is naked probably about 75% of any given day. And he’s not the only one who’s proud. His family is proud as well, although more secretively. They realize that it isn’t healthy for him to be so big and still growing, but the size of Leeny also shows their comfortable economic status and their ability to buy surplus food.  Whenever Leeny walks by, somebody has to pinch him, rub his belly, and note his size. (cultural note: it is totally acceptable here to talk about somebody’s body like they aren’t even there). My family is trying to crack down on a “2 plates of rice per meal rule”, but only half-heartedly. And how can you blame them? My mother told me that she believes that Leeny eats so much because in his past life he died of starvation during the Khmer Rouge Regime. What do you say to that? But yes, he can really shovel food down. My first week or two living there, I was confused at why my family would make me eat first, or why they would give me my own serving dishes. I found out later that it was because Leeny would finish all the food before I had a chance to get full. I told them this was unnecessary, and I just learned to take what I wanted before Leeny cleared the plates. There was one day during Pchum Benh where Leeny ate 8 bowls of rice before noon! I’m not even mad, that’s amazing!
Leeny is as loud as he is big. My training house never had more than 2 chickens at a time, but even worse than roosters squaking in the morning is Leeny squaking! Haha. He’s just a loud kid. He’s got a lot to say, and most of it is very funny, and you are gonna hear it whether you like it or not.
Have you ever seen those sour patch kid commercials where the gummy kid does something cruel, and then makes up for it by being adorable? Leeny is a living breathing sour patch kid. Sometimes I wanna strangle him, and sometimes I wanna pinch his cheeks and tell him I love him. Kinda like a real brother I guess! Leeny didn’t like to give me privacy. If I went to the bathroom, he would follow me, and then stand right up against the door. It’s hard to pee, let alone have infamous Peace Corps diarrhea with that kind of audience. If I shut the door to my bedroom for some privacy or some quiet, he would be at my window peeking inside in less than 5 seconds. But sometimes, I found flowers stuffed through the bars of my window onto my shelf. Just like any little brother, he was a bad listener. He would find that one little thing that irks me, and just wouldn’t stop. He discovered that I don’t enjoy watching him treat the puppy roughly. So that was all the more reason to do it. One time, I went running with my friend, probably about 5 kilometers. Leeny followed us the whole time on his bike, occasionally interrupting us to say something that I wouldn’t understand anyway. It was ridiculous! Toward the end of the run he disappeared and we were like YES WERE FREE! He came back a few seconds later with a stick of gum he bought for each of us. He liked to hide my things too. He was always willing to bring my shoes to me, but sometimes I found him wearing my shoes and bringing them to the wrong side of the house. He liked to unlock my bike and get it ready for me, but I couldn’t always find my key. He liked to pour my water for me for dinner, but sometimes he gave me a tiny shot glass instead of a regular glass.
And don’t you for a second think that I didn’t give it right back to him. Every time I walked by him, I had to side-kick his butt. The kid got a lot of noogies. I made up rules like “you can’t eat more rice until you put pants on” or “you cant play uno because you are mean to the puppy”.
When Leeny and I weren’t bantering- we were dancing. The TV is always on there, and during the day it is on a music television station. We danced and danced all the time. Once in a while I would take out my computer and we would dance to some American music, but we were actually both happier dancing to Korean Pop! How can you say no to Super Junior, 2PM, and Girls Generation? Literally we would just dance in front of the TV the two of us, sometimes with Titi. My mother would go by cooking every once in a while and laugh at us.  
In conclusion, Leeny is the most genuine little brother I could have hoped for when coming to Cambodia. I love him to death and I miss him already. I miss the sweetness, I miss the DANCING, I even miss the pranks! He asked me if I would miss him before I left. I looked at him, smiled, and said “no way”. He smiled back and said “I will miss you a lot”. And that was cause for one final love-felt noogie.

Briefly, I will explain about the Pchum Ben holiday. The whole thing takes place over the course of 15 days, but the last few days are the most important. The purpose of the holiday is to feed the spirits of your ancestors. There are wats, or pagodas ALL OVER Cambodia. You will find a wat probably ever 2 or 3 kilometers. During Pchum Ben, every day around 3:30-3:45AM, the monks play music over loudspeakers to wake up the people and tell them it’s time to go to the wat. Then around 4AM, people go to the wat carrying beautifully decorated trays of sticky rice, fruit, flower petals, candles, and a long stick with a paper ghost flying in the wind. Everyone meets together and prays with the monks. Then everyone goes and walks around the pagoda three times, tossing the food from the plate on the floor. This ritual is to feed the spirits who are not directly related to you. The idea is that they are allowed to come from hell once a year to eat, and you want them to be satisfied with their meal, or they will haunt you. Then, there is a second part of Pchum Ben which takes place at normal hours of the day- either breakfast or lunch time. Again, you go to the Pagoda, this time bringing dishes and dishes of rice and other food. You present it to the monks, and the monks eat and pray, while you pray with him. Then the rest of the food is shared with everyone. There is A LOT of food at these things because everyone brings enough food for themselves and more. It’s kind of comical to see 2 or 3 monks sitting in front of probably over 100 bowls of food. The idea behind this ritual is that you are feeding your relatives directly. When you give an offering to the monks, they can give it to the spirits of your ancestors. Many families also pray, offer sacrifices, and burn incense at home too. Khmer people are not expected to do these rituals every day during Pchum Ben- just at least 3 times.
I went once at 4AM to throw rice with my brothers and sisters. Despite the early hour, I kind of enjoyed it. It was exciting. There is a special prayer to say every time you throw a piece of sticky rice, but I could never remember more than the first 4 words, no matter how many times Marady reminded me. I also went once with my mother to give food to the monks. That was particularly crazy because we went to a wat that was kind of far away and I was the only foreigner there. Every woman at the wat took a turn at coming up to me, petting my skin, telling me I was beautiful, telling me my nails were ugly, etc. We sat in the really uncomfortable position for over an hour. And then, when we were done praying, EVERYONE wanted me to try the food that they made. I never ate so much in my life. I did NOT feel well. I also prayed once at home with my family.
Also, just like any American holiday, in the evening you eat good food, and a lot of it. The last three days, I was offered beer or soda instead of my typical water. Most of the meals at night were ridiculously good. (I’m not counting the plate full of pig innards).I thoroughly enjoyed Phum Ben and I’m grateful that I got to celebrate it with my host family.

Unfortunately, on the last day of Pchum Ben I got really sick. It started with just strong aches, fatigue, and nausea.  We had a special session called “cooking to cope” (or as we called it “emotional eating”) where we were given a small budget to cook an American meal. We made AMAZING fajitas with all the works- but I left early because I wasn’t feeling well. I slept the rest of the day. That night I got a crazy fever. At one point it reached almost 103. I haven’t had a fever that high since I was a kid. I was freezing (in Cambodia?) and sweating at the same time, my head was pounding, and I was still nauseas. The next day, I did nothing but sleep. I didn’t eat, I didn’t go to class. I told my mother I was sick. She didn’t quite understand because I couldn’t explain well enough in my language. She thought maybe it was because of the half a beer I drank 2 days before… Once she did get it though, she was worried. She kept trying to bring me food, and she offered to coin me (Khmer medicine where they bruise your back with a coin or bottle cap to force the toxins to the skin and out). I declined, mostly just because my skin hurt from the fever. After 2 days the fever was gone, but I was still feeling kinda crappy, especially because I was having bad stomach problems for 3 days straight. It’s a shame that this was all during the goodbyes with our host families and our last week of training in Phnom Penh. In Phnom Penh, I went to see the medical officer. I thought she would test me for dengue or giardia, but she didn’t. She diagnosed me with the flu and sent me off with nothing except “don’t each bread or cheese while you are here”. I can’t say I completely followed her advice… but I was still sick for the next 4 days. But she was right, it fixed itself. The flu sucked though. And this paragraph whining about the flu is a lot longer than I expected it to be. Oh well. Maybe I’m a cry baby.

Picture time.






1. Where we ended up having language class most of the time, in front of my teachers house, because it wasnt as hot as inside her grass classroom. 2. Also near my teachers house- an exploded land mine crater turned pond. 3. Once again, near my teacher's house- these are Khmer graves. I believe ashes go inside them. 4 and 5- During practium week, there was one day we had to stop class early to go wave to the king as he and his envoy drove past. We had flags and cardboard cut-outs of the king. haha, it was a lot of fun. The king saw us, and actually stood up out of the sun roof of his car to wave to us. Sorry I didn't get a picture of the King.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

The Most Lovable Khmer Family I Know

            When I first arrived at my training host family’s house, I wrote a blog of character descriptions of my family members. But now that training is over, I know them so much better, I have so much more to say and with so much more love!

            I’ll start with my dad. Actually, my initial reaction to my dad continued for the next two months lol. He is totally harmless but a little creepy. But at the same time, he can be sweet sometimes. Examples. My favorite dad moment was one day when I was laying on a hammock reading, and my dad in his Chroma (kinda like a Khmer kilt) was up in a tree picking a fruit. Some of my PCT friends went running by our house, and he screams after them  (in an almost indecipherable accent) “HELLO HELLO I THINK ABOUT YOU MUCH!” hahaha, my friends never heard him, but I wasted no time telling them the story once I saw them again. Once he wanted so desperately to teach me the Khmer word for penis that he drew one on a napkin and gave it to me. I think he honestly thought the he was being helpful lol. Although he also knew he was being silly and absolutely ridiculous. Another time that he looked into my hamper when I was doing laundry, took out a bra, and started laughing. In the town, he's known as a prankster and one who enjoys a good laugh. I agree with this characterization whole-heartedly. Then there's the other side of my dad, which I love. One of my favorite things about my dad is that when he comes home from work or when he gets up in the morning he helps my mom sweep the house. He is always more than willing to help me put up my mosquito net, or show me how to eat Khmer food. His children obviously love him. Sometimes Leeny or Titi would sit leaning against him. Then sometimes he would kid around and rest his feet on their heads or shoulders. On a few special occasions, my dad and I shared a beer. When we ate dinner, every time he would serve himself more, he would always add something to my plate as well (sometimes to my dismay) and I would always get the best or most desirable portion or piece of meat.

            My mom was absolutely amazing in every way. It’s so cool how quickly she treated me just like any one of her other children. The woman works so hard. She’s always cooking, cleaning, doing tons and tons of laundry, taking care of her kids, etc. Then all the stuff she did for me was crazy. A lot of it was behind the scenes stuff too; stuff that I never even saw her do. For example, I never filled my own water filter. There was magically always clean water waiting for me. She would often help me with my laundry (I think she felt frustrated because I’m so slow at it). If my clothes were hanging outside and it started to rain, she always dropped whatever she was doing to go move my clothes to an inside line. Sometimes I came home and I found my clothes off the line and neatly folded on my trunk. Also, many times I came home to find my bedroom swept and dusted, even though I was trying so hard to be on top of that on my own. She was ALWAYS bringing me treats if I was home. I got delicious fruit after every single meal. Within a week, she knew all my favorite fruits, and always had the house stocked with them. Sometimes she would bring me iced coffee, fried bananas or potatoes, French fries (if I was really lucky), crackers, etc. Actually she just always was trying to feed me. She was only supposed to give me 2 meals a day, but she had a hard time not cooking breakfast for me too. Oh, and she is the jealous type. I felt SO bad every time I had to tell her that I was eating at a restaurant or at my teacher’s house because it was very clear that I was breaking her heart. My mom is just a lot of fun to be around. She LOVES to laugh and it is really easy to make her laugh. She loves a good joke, and will even laugh at a bad joke where the punchline is ruined because my Khmer is so bad. Saying goodbye to my mom was hard, but it was also the funniest goodbye I’ve ever had in my life. My ride was waiting outside and I was standing in the bedroom with my mom getting ready to pick up my stuff and go. I looked at my mom and gave her the most sincere thank you I could muster up in Khmer. Then.. she went in for the hug. Ok, so, Khmer people don’t hug, although I believe that through television they are aware of the fact that foreigners do hug. What do YOU think would be the problem with people learning to hug from television? Well, my tiny little Khmer mother nuzzled into my chest, and then groped me all over for a good 10 seconds. I didn’t mind. I love the woman, she can grope me anytime, but it took so much energy to keep myself from bursting out with laughter. It was long too. At one point I tried to pull back, but she had the death grip on me. I’ve had a lot of weird hugs in my life (have you ever seen a group of music majors hanging out?), but this one tops them all, and I loved it.

            My older sister Marady is one of my best friends here. If we went to school in the same country, she probably woulda been too cool to be my friend lol. I am always impressed by her confidence and her strength. She’s this tiny little thing with kickin curves and a sassy personality. I was so grateful for the fact that she could speak English, mostly just because I had someone to talk to at the end of the day. As I said before, her confidence is amazing. You don’t even have to speak the language, and you can just hear her speak and you could tell. I told her all the time that I just liked to hear her talk, even if I didn’t understand. She thought that was weird. She’s right, it is. She has a secret boyfriend in Phnom Penh, and I can tell that she is strong in the relationship. Possibly my favorite thing about Marady is how smart she is. Really, she is brilliant. Her English is amazing- and she wasn’t even an English major in college. She studied accounting, but also took English classes because she just loved learning the language. She told me that she wanted to study English, but her dad made her study accounting. Now she works in an office for a phone company. It is a good job, but she still says she would have preferred to study English. I also found out that when she graduated high school, she was top of her grade in Khmer language scores. I am not surprised! Marady is also very funny, as is everyone in the family. She loved to force me to eat a ridiculous amount of rice. By the end of my stay with her family, I knew never to let Marady touch my plate. Though sometimes I couldn’t stop her. She told me that she wants me to be fat. Thanks. Good sister lol. Often she wasn’t home because she was working or she was in Phnom Penh, but if she was home and had nothing to do, I always made a point to sit with her. We talked about everything, from boys to travelling to the past and the future. Funny thing- many volunteers very quickly start missing physical contact from home. Hugs and such don’t really happen here. If you are a woman, you will get touched, pet, pinched, slapped, and squeezed a lot, but that doesn’t exactly fill the void. Well, sometimes my sister Marady would stop next to me and put her arm on my shoulder or around my waist. Maybe its weird but I loved that. Every time I was like YAY SHE LIKES ME WERE FRIENDS SHES THE BEST SISTER EVER! Lol. Anyway, I am going to miss Marady so much. I hope we can manage to remain close.

            I only got to know my older brother a tiny bit. His name is Banyajuan (That’s probably not the right spelling). I think he’s a fairly decent guy? He lives in Phnom Penh and works at a Lucky Supermarket. When he visited, he did his own thing and he was busy, but he was still nice to me. It’s obvious that my Leeny idolizes him, and that is cute.
            I am so very happy that I got to know my younger brother Jimi better. When I first met him, I thought he was a typical 15 year old too cool to hang out with me. But really, he was just shy and it took a little while for him to come out of his shell. Once he did though, it was amazing. The kid is hilarious. The first time I really saw his sense of humor come out, he was driving a moto coming into the gate to our house. He didn’t know I was watching. Something happened.. I think he pressed the gas too much or something and he almost crashed. He was fine, but he purposely screamed like a little girl. I was like on the floor laughing, and I think that gave him some confidence to get to know me. Sometimes I would catch him wearing his mothers hat, just for laughs. Once he put a light tan towel on his head, put on big sunglasses, and told me he was Lady Gaga. I taught my siblings to play Uno, and he particularly loved it. I left behind an uno deck for him so he can play with his family. He was so funny playing uno with his facial expressions and little white lies about what cards he had and stuff. During practicum week, he was sitting with me as I was writing lesson plans. I explained to him what I was doing, and I was surprised that he was so interested. So, I invited him to come to my class. He looked SO happy when I invited him, it was so sweet. So the next morning, he put on his school clothes and came to school with me. Some of the stuff was a little advanced, but I know he got stuff out of it. I’m sure you can imagine that I always tried to give him a specific class that I knew he would succeed at. All in all he is just such a fun kid. And I am very appreciative of our pact- he was the only person in the house I could trust to give me a second helping of rice without going overboard.

            Titi is in a lot of ways a typical 12 year old. She’s just silly. She does silly things where you’re left being like… why?? And why is this funny?? Lol. She can’t walk into a room without making a silly face, or making a sound, or doing a little dance. Sometimes she would come into my room, pretend that she saw something she didn’t want to see, and then she’d back out of the room with huge eyes saying “I’m sorry” over and over and bowing. She liked to try to trick me into looking places. She would gasp and point in a direction, then as soon as I looked, she would gasp and point somewhere else. This would continue until I refused to look anywhere but her face. Another thing she liked to do was pretend to pop the moles on my arm. She would poke every one of them with her finger like a needle, then she would make a noise like a balloon running out of air as she dropped my arm. Then she would pretend to get an air pump to blow my arm back up. Weird, but kind of amusing lol. I taught Titi a little bit of ukulele. She learned fast. She also is an extremely talented artist. Like.. EXTREMELY talented. One day I went outside to go sit with her and I saw her drawing. I asked to look through her book and I was blown away! I asked her to draw a picture so that I could send it to my mom in America. When I came back from teaching that day, she gave me this beautiful piece of artwork depicting people working on the rice fields. I was sad to fold it up and send it to my mom. I wanted to keep it! When I go back to Tramkak to visit, I will ask her to draw me a picture. I said goodbye to Titi earlier than I left because she had to go to school. I guess she decided that wasn’t enough because she called me like an hour after I left to say goodbye again. It was sweet.

            It is time for bed, but I have one more sibling to report on! The infamous Leeny! I had actually joked with my PC friends about making an entire blog post just about Leeny. Well, I think I will actually do that. So, stay tuned. Leeny stories coming soon.

And, as I promised, more pictures from my Kirivong trip like over a month ago: