RAS RANT

I am getting so very antsy, Peace Corps.

You have now had my medical kit for almost 7 weeks. I still haven’t heard anything from Medical. L

I am nominated for Asia in July/August. People with this nomination so far have been invited to the Philippines July 1^st. The beginning of July is in less than 11 weeks. I believe the rule is that Peace Corps has to give you an invitation at least 6 weeks before you leave. If I am going to the Philippines, I will be leaving July 1^st. That means I would have to have my invitation by May 20^th. Now, there are less than 5 weeks until May 20^th. Placement usually takes 6-8 weeks. AND I’m not even up to placement yet because I’m still not medically cleared! AHHHHHH!

I know that the Peace Corps goes through all of the applicants’ files in order of importance of country and job and whatnot. But I can’t help but be confused as to why people are getting invitations now for September and even October.

For the record, I am totally open to the idea that my nomination can change and I could be going to a different region at a later departure date. Actually... I might even prefer that. But I’m just dying to get some answers.

And if this isn’t an RAS rant, I don’t know what is.

Help Me Out Here, PC

          So I haven’t heard from the PC in a month. And yes that is killing me. They said they received my medical paperwork March 1^st. Then life happened, which I will explain later, so I was really really anxious to get things moving again and to see if the Peace Corps is even going to happen at all. I emailed the medical office over this past weekend and got a response today. The nurse said that my file was assigned to a nurse to start getting reviewed this week. If I'm missing anything in my file I should hear back in 2-3 weeks. Then I should know if I'm cleared in 6-8 weeks. 6-8 weeks?????? That is like such a long time! But at least I’m in the loop now. I know that something is happening.

          She also answered my question about whether or not I can go on to placement without having my wisdom teeth out yet. She said that I could, but definitely try to get it done ASAP. I wish I could just get it done now, but I can’t miss student teaching for that.

          So let me tell you about how life happened and everything has been turned upside down.

For those of you who may not know because you live under a rock, schools are seeing budget cuts like crazy. The first programs to go are the music programs. The first teachers to go are the music teachers. This is the worst time for music majors to be graduating because there are no jobs. People are being fired, not hired. So perfect time for me to join the peace corps and wait it out! That’s what I thought. But then I was basically offered a job. WHAT??? After student teaching only 2 and a half days with the high school, the faculty advised me to apply for a maternity leave position, saying that I would be a successful candidate for that position. And did I mention that this is at one of the top high schools in the nation. Do you know what this would do for my career?

          I was and still kind of am really confused about what I should be doing right now. I have been so set on the Peace Corps for almost a year now, but this is an option I never even considered. To be honest, I don’t even know what I want to do with the rest of my life. Do I want to teach music? Do I want to perform? Do I want to arrange music? Do I want to teach English? Do I want to live in a box on a street in NYC? I have no idea. The best answer that I have to the “what do you want to do question” is “I want to make my life worth something that I want to be proud of my accomplishments”. I want to leave this world in better shape than when I entered it. I also want to go far in whatever field I enter.

After a lot of thought, I decided that the Peace Corps is my top choice for short term goals. I spent a lot of time watching PC videos and reading blogs this weekend to remind myself of why I applied in the first place. But, there is still the chance that I could get medically deferred, or my departure date could be moved to a much later date, or they can just.. deny me all together. I need to know! If that is the case, then I need to be putting all my efforts into Plan B- which is the HS teaching job. It is crunch time. NOW is decision making time. Help me out here PC.

          P.S. Lets discuss Asia in August, shall we? Clearly there is a mystery departure date in August for what country? I dunno. My nomination was for Late July-early August. When the Philippines was put in early July, I just thought it would mean Cambodia, which leaves July 19th. However, I’ve noticed that other people have nominations for Asia in August. No one has an invitation yet though. Where could it be????

March has come, March is going...

On February 22^nd I mailed in my Medical forms, jumped and clicked my heels, and started the real waiting game.

On March 1^st (Peace Corps 50^th Anniversary) I got every applicant’s favorite email saying “Your application status has been updated”. The update just says that they have received my paperwork. But they have not yet started reviewing it. I assume I’ll get another status update when that begins.

I’ve been feeling RAS (Restless Applicant Syndrome) for weeks now, but at this point it is more than ever. It is completely out of my hands. The ball is in their court and I just have to wait and see what happens.

I especially feel like I need to know because if the Peace Corps is not going to happen, I need to be making other plans with my life! I am graduating in less than 2 months without a job and without even a plan. If I wasn’t doing the Peace Corps, I would be applying for grad school NOW. I should be working on applications for graduate assistantship positions and such. The positions are going to close in like a month and if the Peace Corps doesn’t happen, I am out of luck.

It’s also weird for me because my friends are all making their plans. I am so proud of my friends. They are all going to be amazing, whether they get teaching jobs or they go off into the world of performing music. It is weird for them to tell me about their near future plans and then not have anything to offer in return other than- “I might be living in a third world country in four months. Would you care to visit?” Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE hearing about the futures of my friends. I just wish I also had some concrete plans that I can throw into the mix of my graduating class.

Cambodia leaves July 19^th. So far, that is the closest departure date to what I was nominated for (asia late July-august).  Cambodia would be very very cool. I enjoy telling people that I’m moving to Cambodia. I wasn’t too thrilled with an Asia nomination, but Cambodia would be the best case scenario I think.

To sum it all up, life is pretty good. I’m about halfway done with student teaching. I am about to switch over to the high school to teach orchestra, lessons, and music theory there. ESL tutoring is going well. I enjoy working with students, especially as I start to see improvement from week to week. It is very satisfying. And last but not least, I am trying to get in as much quality time with music as possible. I am enjoying the 4 ensembles I am in, and I am constantly just absorbing myself with music whether it is alone in a practice room or with friends.

Don’t forget to stop and smell the Long Island roses.

I am a RABSOBAD! (restless applicant being screwed over by a dentist)

I can’t believe I still haven’t handed in my medical forms. Really, I have been done for over a month now, all except for one thing. I need to get cavities filled. My dentist is being extremely uncooperative, and my appointment keeps getting pushed back farther and farther. Now my appointment is for this Tuesday. And I don’t care if he’s ready or not, I am going, even if I have to fill the cavities in myself! I wanted to have these forms in a month ago!

I feel especially pressed for time because I noticed on the Peace Corps Wiki timeline that they started handing out invitations for July and August. I know it will probably be fine and I need to just be patient. However, I would just feel so much better if my file was already in the placement office.

I have a question maybe someone can answer. What is the protocol for wisdom teeth? If my dentist recommends getting my wisdom teeth removed, do I have to do that before I get medically cleared? I hope not!

I am extremely busy these days. I just finished 5 weeks of student teaching. 9 more to go. I am at the elementary school teaching lessons and orchestra. The good news is that I am proving to be pretty successful at this. The bad news is that I’m not enjoying it as much as I had hoped. I think it’s a combination of a bunch of different factors. 1) they are not MY students. 2) I don’t get to teach MY way 3) more than half of the learning time is spent doing classroom management, not making music or teaching skills. I move to the high school in a few weeks, and I really hope I like that better. If not… then I have to rethink my whole life! lol I’ve always been so sure I wanted to be a music teacher. Now I don’t know what my future holds. I just want to make music and make the world a better place.

I am taking 12 credits this semester, can you believe it? I’m doing 4 ensembles including the ukulele ensemble which I was asked to run. I am not complaining, as it was kind of my choice to do all of it. I just got in the mindset that this could be my last couple of months where my time is really dedicated to music making and music learning. Yipes. So I’m trying to do as much as possible without collapsing.

I am still working at the music studio. I currently have just under 25 students. They have NYSSMA, which is a big solo competition coming up. So the parents are desperately trying to fit their kids in for make-up lessons, extra lessons, and extra help in my non-existent free time. I feel bad, but there is really nothing I can do.

And for the Peace Corps, I have some really good news: I ENJOY teaching English! I have started getting my 30+ hours of experience teaching English and it is going extremely well. I feel like I really got the hang of it now. My students are appreciative of my time, but one student, a Mexican man, is SOOO thankful that he wants to take me back to Mexico and show me around haha. So cute. I was afraid that I would be and awful ESL tutor, but that is apparently not so. It just takes A LOT of lesson planning, and some patience in the lesson.

I am also working on campus as a tutor for the Asian immigrant students. I have office hours where they can come work with me. So far they either come to practice conversing in English, to have me help them with a composition, or to get help with reading coprehension. I find that they are very very shy and feel nervous to come and use my office hours. But I have met with a couple of students and hopefully they will spread the word that I don’t bite.

Hopefully by my next blog I will be able to say MEDICAL APPLICATION COMPLETE!

Almost Done with Medical as Life Continues

Oh Peace Corps Journal, let me tell you about the last week and a half.

     Thursday. It took me two hours to get a Hepatitis B shot. Thus making me miss my dentist appointment.
     They let me come a little later in the day. After getting my teeth cleaned, the office told me that the dentist isn't even in today. So I have to make another appointment, come back, and sit with the actual dentist as he looks at my x rays and fills out my PC forms.

     Friday. Teacher clothes shopping. blech. I had to trade in my sunglasses, sweatshirts, skinny jeans, and converse for something more collared, woolly, and ruffly. I hate ruffles.

     Tuesday. First day of student teaching at the elementary level. I am so awkward and shy in new situations. So the first day was pretty awful. But as the week progressed, I just really tried to put myself out there. I found that I needed to be interesting in order for the other teachers to be interested in me being there at all. Of course I brought the Peace Corps up, and I think that's when I was finally respected by the other teachers. Also, I've started teaching some of the violin, viola, and cello lesson groups. I think I've done alright and I've gained the trust of my cooperating teacher with her students. As of now, the hardest thing about student teaching is I have a very different teaching style and method than my cooperating teacher. But of course I have to do it her way, or at least close to her way. And that's okay. I will occasionally slip in something different, but I'm sure she will be okay with that. Who knows, this might be good practice for the Peace Corps. I definitely cant expect that wherever I go, they will just allow me to change the system. I will have to work with what I have, make compromises, and just always do my best with what is allocated to me.

     I went back to the dentist Tuesday afternoon (had to cut class to do so). I sat down in the dentist chair. The dentist came in, looked at my x rays and said "ok, you have some cavities so make another appointment and I'll see you then." I don't know WHY i had to be there as he looked at the x rays. It was a waste of an appointment, and now I have to cut ANOTHER class to go get my cavities filled. This is not okay.

     Oh, and then on Tuesday night, one of my favorite singer/songwriters Julia Nunes (youtube ukulele player) discovered a youtube video of mine where I covered one of her songs! She facebooked, tweeted, and youtubed about it saying she was honored and she loved it! It was really exciting! I never expected that to happen. It is SO COOL to get feedback on a cover song from the original artist! Here is the video I made:

my youtube page

     Then on Thursday, I cut class again to go to the endocrinologist. This is for my biggest problem that I am afraid Peace Corps will dismiss me for. The endocrinologist was SO nice and totally understood that we didn't want whatever this is to be a cause for delay or limitations in the Peace Corps, especially because I've had this problem since I was 12 and have had no complications because of it. My tests point to a mild case of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Unlike my other doctor who wouldn't even hear me out, this doctor took time to think about it and decided I didn't need medication or follow-up until AFTER the peace corps. YES! Now, I hope the Peace Corps agrees with that. Yes, I am diagnosed with POS, but it is so mild that treatment is not necessary until later in life.

    The very last thing I need to do is get my cavities filled. I am going to have to miss a few hours of student teaching to do this. I am really not supposed to miss, but I have to. I've read all over the Peace Corps journals that there are too many volunteers and too few jobs. The jobs are filling up quickly. So if I want to go on my July/August departure, I need to get these forms in ASAP! Then I can put all my focus on student teaching, classes, rehearsals, work, and tutoring. ahhh who am i kidding my focus is still spread too thin..

     Anyway, I've finally reached the weekend, where I can actually grab a couple hours here and there to breathe. Unfortunately I'm sick. A cold of sorts. Hopefully I can kick it before Monday.

     Next week I have a training class for tutoring, and I should be having a meeting with someone on campus to get started tutoring there. I'll feel so much better once I start clocking in my 30+ hours of experience.

I'll make them see, I have confidence in me!

     I'm really glad I'm doing this blog thing through Peace Corps Wiki. I spend lots of time reading blogs, and I love getting in touch with Peace Corps applicants and volunteers. Thanks to everyone who reads this and has commented and whatnot. Correct me if I'm wrong... but I don't think there is a way to reply to comments on my blogs, right? I wish there was.

     I should clarify real quick just that my last name is not really Lele. Diana Lele is a sad attempt at a cute and clever mix of my name and ukulele. It is currently serving as an alias so that my students have a slightly more difficult time finding me. Although a google search of my name, or any combination of Diana and ukulele still lead right to my youtube page. Ah well, I tried.

     I went to the eye doctor. Just like at all my other appointments so far, the receptionist was rude to me because my insurance changed, and then was even ruder when I mentioned I had an additional form that needed to be filled out for the Peace Corps. The actual doctor was fine though. He was interested in my plans with the Peace Corps. However, he somehow managed to convince me that I could not POSSIBLY live in the Peace Corps without transitional glasses to act as both glasses and sunglasses, thus raising my bill about 100 dollars. After all, it is really sunny in Cambodia! lol, Then when I was driving home sense came back to me. I thought: wait.. what? I hardly ever even wear my glasses and I have sooo many pairs of sunglasses that I actually enjoy wearing. So, I made my mom call the doctor :-P and cancel the transitional part. Discreet, sturdy, regular glasses are all I need.

      I'm glad I didn't schedule any appointments for today because Long Island is buried under more than a foot of snow. Yaaay snow day!

     These past few days I've been feeling... almost helpless. I have SO MUCH to do, between finalizing all my medical forms, getting tutoring experience, and getting ready for student teaching. But the thing is, I can't really do anything right now. My doctors appointments are all scheduled. So I just have to wait for those to happen. I'm signed up for an ESL training workshop, but that's not until January 29th. Student teaching starts Tuesday and I just kinda have to wait for that to come. Classes start next week as well. Right now I'm just waiting for everything to happen, which I hate, but I have no choice. Next week is going to be like a bomb hit my life because everything will be happening all at once.  Sometime before Tuesday I have to pick up some confidence. I can't help but think of the scene in the Sound of Music where Julia Andrews (LOVE HER) is going to her first day at work, running and skipping down the streets of Austria, convincing herself through song that she has confidence. I think I might try that. It seemed to have worked for her.

     I am trying to enjoy myself occasionally. You can't be a serious Peace Corps applicant without the idea that you might be gone in a few months constantly in the back of your head. I'm graduating at the end of this semester, which is exciting, but also really sad. I loved college. I loved studying music more than anything. I spent just about every waking minute of the last 3 and a half years with the most amazing friends anyone can ask for. Regardless of whether or not I go into the Peace Corps, we are all going our spearate ways after graduation. So I'm definitely feeling like I need to spend as much time as possible with these people and doing the things I love. After all, there really is nothing more exciting and unpredicatable than a cluster of music majors.

Did I ever think that I would "sing for a Goodyear Tire commercial? No, but that just happened two days ago.
Did I ever think that I would surprise Christmas carol for a dozen diners and bars? No, but we did, and got free food out of it!
Did I ever think that I would sing at a professional hockey game? No, but we did.
Did I ever think that my most talented friends would allow little old me to perform (and turn pages) with them at their senior recitals? No, but they did.
Did I ever think that I would want to break into the music building after hours, just to practice with my friends until it's almost time to be there for class the following morning? No, but we've done that.

I guess I'm just trying to make whatever time I have left in this last leg of my undergrad career count. I love what I'm doing and I love the people I do it with. I'm glad we still have a couple more months (not to mention our performances in ITALY, something else I thought I'd never do). So pardon me, friends, that I keep mentioning the end of the road when we hang out, but just know that it's because you have made this journey amazing.

Wow Diana, stop typing. I know you can keep going on and on, but this is not the time.
ok.

Just (in)sane enough to work for the Peace Corps!

First things first, I misread my nomination. I was nominated to serve in Asia as a secondary English teacher, but my tentative departure date is between late July and late August (not just July). So, after checking out the timeline, it looks like it may either be Cambodia or the Philippines. I’ve looked up Cambodia quite a bit and I would be very happy to go to Cambodia. I’ve been throwing in “I’m moving to Cambodia” into conversations whenever I can, just to get a feel for how that sounds and I like it! If it’s Cambodia, I’d be one of the first teams to go there, which would be so awesome! So I’m kind of hoping it will be Cambodia. I haven’t looked up the Philippines quite so much, but I will start to do so more. I wanna see if I enjoy saying “I’m moving to the Philippines” as much as the other one.

            And as of January 3rd, the craziness of filling out the medical forms has begun! There is so much to do, and I really feel pressed for time, partially because I want to get it in to the placement officer as soon as possible and also because when I start student teaching on Tuesday the 18^th, I will have NO TIME for doctors appointments. So the next two weeks should be very exciting..

            One of the questions in the initial medical health survey asks whether or not you have had mental health counseling in the past ten years. I have, so I checked yes. In my medical packet, there was a large section of paperwork for me to take back to my old counselor. I also had to write a personal statement of my own. I had counseling for a few months back in 2008 after a bad break up of an even worse relationship. I was in pretty bad shape at the time, and I suffered bad anxiety and depression, so I was pretty nervous going back to my counselor and seeing what she would write on my forms. However once I got there, I realized I had NOTHING to worry about. My counselor was so excited! She spent a good half hour just talking to me and seeing what I have been up to and she was so impressed. I guess I really am some sort of a success story for her. She couldn’t get over all the greater things that I have gone on to do since she last saw me. It felt pretty good being given the opportunity to brag! She is going to fill out the forms (with wonderful things, she says) and mail them back to me. I also finished my personal statement. It’s very basic, but it makes it clear that my depression was purely situational and that my experiences have only made me stronger. So the first one is done! I guess I have been deemed sane enough to do the Peace Corps. Although, I think a certain amount of insanity is still necessary.

            Now for some not good news. Without giving you too much detail, my bloodwork is all screwed up. If anything was going to cause me medically to not be accepted, this would be it. I really hope the Peace Corps can accommodate this.

            I took a trip to my regular doctor as well. I had a physical back in September, so I figured that would be recent enough. I hope. So I just gave the office my packet, and got a prescription for some additional blood tests. Hepatitis and HIV (never thought I’d ever get tested for HIV). Then I had to go to 2 different labs to find a lab that takes my insurance, waited for almost two hours, and finally got the blood test.

            Now I have a break from Doctors’ visits for a few days, which I am very glad about. For some reason, everywhere I went, besides to my psychologist, medical professionals were yelling at me and talking down to me. I think it’s all a conspiracy with the doctors, receptionists, and the Peace Corps to force me to practice patience and develop a thick skin.

            I mentioned in my last post that I am not really qualified for the job I was nominated for. I have to get 30+ hours of tutoring experience ASAP. I have been looking everywhere and have found two options, and I hope that will be enough. First, I got in touch with someone at my college, who says when next semester starts she can try to team me up with an asian exchange student to help them with their homework and practice their English. I also found a non-profit organization called Literacy Nassau. This one is perfect because you have to go through a 15 hour training period, and then they team you up with a student in your area. Quite frankly, I need the training! I’ll admit I don’t know what I’m doing. So I’m signed up for two training days in a month, and then hopefully I can start with a student soon after that.

            I’m back to work this week after the holidays, so things are starting to pick up again. I am a music teacher at a private music studio. I’ve started working on finding a replacement for me when/if I leave. This is so important to me because I really care about my students and I don’t want them to have just any old teacher. Many of them I’ve taken so far in the last 3 years and I don’t want to just flat leave them. I’m going to miss teaching them, but I think I’ve found a replacement that I feel comfortable with.

 And so, it is now 2011. The year I student teach. The year I graduate college. The year my performing ensembles in school go on tour to Italy. The year I turn 22. And, more than anything, I hope its the year that I start my Peace Corps service.