There are about 100 different feelings that come with finally getting your invitation and then having about a month to let that sink in. I think it's different for everyone, but here is what I'm feeling:
- Relief. As my nominated departure date was getting closer and closer it was getting harder to tell people that I didnt know what I was doing after graduation because I might be moving to a third world country in just a few weeks. People would ask me non-stop, have you heard? I actually got myself a job for the summer because leaving for the Peace Corps didnt look promising for July. Once I got the invitation though, I had to be a jerk and turn down the job that I got. And it made talking to extended friends and family a lot easier because I had a difinitive answer.
- Urgency. The big blue envelope comes with a lot of paperwork inside and it can be overwhelming. There are time constraints on some things and I wanted to make sure I didn't miss anything. There are a lot of things to read, a lot of things to fill out and mail to various places, and there are some things that you have to take with you to fill out at staging. In addition to all the paperwork, there is the packing that needs to be done. I have to clean out my room and my closet before I go. I have to buy certain things before I go; everything from a cheap sturdy laptop to lots of underwear. I wish I could be getting this shopping done NOW but I have no money as of this moment.
- Inspired/Excited. Of course there are plenty of moments when I'm really excited. I do feel ready to go, ready to work my tail off in training, and ready to start this adventure. I'm excited to meet the people who will become my new friends and family. I'm excited to really experience something different. I'm excited to see what I can do for a people whom I know I will grow to love. I can't wait to see how this experience is going to effect me and make me grow. I am inspired to start making changes now. For example, I picked up running and working out again. I even started learning a little bit of the Khmer language.
- A little scared. Who wouldn't be? But it's not fear for the reasons I originally expected. For example, I am worried that I am going to lose too much weight because I am going to get soo sick of rice, but I am not worried about how I am going to adapt to a home with few technological comforts like plumbing and electricity. I am worried that the other Peace Corps volunteers in Cambodia won't get me and I won't fit in, but I'm not too concerned about my safety. You may think that this is foolish, but I think it is just because I have had time- a whole year- to work out my fears of safety and adapting. I've done tons of research on it and I've tested the Peace Corps on what they have to offer to help me in those areas. I have been reassured. I hope you are too.
- Sad. I loved college. I love music, I love learning, I love my professors and my friends. It is a little hard to mentally sort that period of my life into a memory of the past. It's weird to be cleaning up my room and getting rid of things like my undergrad handbook and my honors paperwork and important syllabi (plural?).
- Fickle. 2 years and 3 months is a very very long time. 2 years and 3 months is going to go by like the blink of an eye. I am so ready to go. I wish I had one more year of college. You get the idea. I'm also fickle in the way that I want to spend my last 35 days in the US. Sometimes I want to spend every waking minute with my family and friends. Sometimes I want to withdraw to a safe distance where it may not be so painful to leave from in a month. Recently I've felt like I'm grown up and I'm leaving my immaturity behind with my friends, and the sooner I can pull away from all that, the better. It's been fun, but I'm just in a very different place now and I need to let go and set my eyes on other things. Starting now.
I guess those are the main things. Some are probably universal and some are probably specific to my personality. And who knows, give me another week and things can feel totally different all over again.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Opera, Wisdom Teeth, and Costa Rica
Recently completed:
-got my wisdom teeth out
-updated resume sent to the Cambodia office
-Aspiration statements sent to the Cambodia office
-Passport and Visa applications mailed in
-a Bon Voyage party is planned
Next steps:
-get loan deferment papers
-fill out the hometown news press release stuff
-start making lists of things i need to get!
_____________________________________________
After I got home from Italy, I SHOULD have gotten my wisdom teeth pulled right away, but I couldn't cause I HAD to do an opera at Lincoln Center. When someone asks you to sing in the chorus of a professional opera at Lincoln Center in NYC, you say yes. So I did that. And it was actually my third year in a row doing so. It was tons of fun and I was very impressed with the final product. It was actually two short comedic operas. The chorus parts were kind of short and far in between, but still, it is cool to have 3 rehearsals, and then do an opera. You should try it one day.
Here's a link to a website with some reviews from NY Times and Opera Today
The very next day, Wednesday May 25th, I got my Wisdom Teeth out. That was an exciting experience. Well, at least what I remember of it. I was knocked out... and then pretty drugged up for a while. According to those who took care of me, I was very giggly and also very concerned with what time it was... every 3 minutes. But healing went well at first. I ate lots of soup, apple sauce, mashed potatoes (lol thanks Kristin) pudding and ice cream. 2 days later on Friday, things were looking good so I got the stitches out.
THEN on Sunday I hopped on a plane with my brother and 18 other people from my church to go on a mission trip to Costa Rica. Most things went very well. We painted a house and we did some sheet-rocking in another. Most of our time however was spent traveling to the poorest neighborhoods in Alajuelita and loving on the kids. We just played with them for hours and it was so much fun. We talked to their parents and we prayed for them and with them. We also did 2 feeding centers for the homeless and 2 feeding centers for children. Those were really great. We would serve them food, and then just spend some time with them and talking to them. You all (whoever is reading this) would have been SO PROUD of my spanish. I remembered quite a bit from High School. My grammar was awful and a lot of times the kids would just laugh at me, but the important thing is that I was able to hold extended conversations with people, and this is the first mission trip I've been on that I was able to do that. The only set back to this mission trip was that... MY TEETH HURT SO BAD! I've never taken so much ibuprofen in my life!
I got back this past Saturday night and I was seen by the oral surgeon on Monday. Turns out I have dry socket. YAY! It is so painful. Now I have to go back to the dentist every other day so that this can be treated. Those of you who know me or who have been reading my previous blogs know how HILARIOUS this is because I LOVE the dentist. Dentists are my FAVORITE!
BTW, I did ask the missionaries who live in Alajuelita if they've ever come across a Peace Corps volunteer in the area. They said the didn't. Ah well, I tried. I was curious.
-got my wisdom teeth out
-updated resume sent to the Cambodia office
-Aspiration statements sent to the Cambodia office
-Passport and Visa applications mailed in
-a Bon Voyage party is planned
Next steps:
-get loan deferment papers
-fill out the hometown news press release stuff
-start making lists of things i need to get!
_____________________________________________
After I got home from Italy, I SHOULD have gotten my wisdom teeth pulled right away, but I couldn't cause I HAD to do an opera at Lincoln Center. When someone asks you to sing in the chorus of a professional opera at Lincoln Center in NYC, you say yes. So I did that. And it was actually my third year in a row doing so. It was tons of fun and I was very impressed with the final product. It was actually two short comedic operas. The chorus parts were kind of short and far in between, but still, it is cool to have 3 rehearsals, and then do an opera. You should try it one day.
Here's a link to a website with some reviews from NY Times and Opera Today
The very next day, Wednesday May 25th, I got my Wisdom Teeth out. That was an exciting experience. Well, at least what I remember of it. I was knocked out... and then pretty drugged up for a while. According to those who took care of me, I was very giggly and also very concerned with what time it was... every 3 minutes. But healing went well at first. I ate lots of soup, apple sauce, mashed potatoes (lol thanks Kristin) pudding and ice cream. 2 days later on Friday, things were looking good so I got the stitches out.
THEN on Sunday I hopped on a plane with my brother and 18 other people from my church to go on a mission trip to Costa Rica. Most things went very well. We painted a house and we did some sheet-rocking in another. Most of our time however was spent traveling to the poorest neighborhoods in Alajuelita and loving on the kids. We just played with them for hours and it was so much fun. We talked to their parents and we prayed for them and with them. We also did 2 feeding centers for the homeless and 2 feeding centers for children. Those were really great. We would serve them food, and then just spend some time with them and talking to them. You all (whoever is reading this) would have been SO PROUD of my spanish. I remembered quite a bit from High School. My grammar was awful and a lot of times the kids would just laugh at me, but the important thing is that I was able to hold extended conversations with people, and this is the first mission trip I've been on that I was able to do that. The only set back to this mission trip was that... MY TEETH HURT SO BAD! I've never taken so much ibuprofen in my life!
I got back this past Saturday night and I was seen by the oral surgeon on Monday. Turns out I have dry socket. YAY! It is so painful. Now I have to go back to the dentist every other day so that this can be treated. Those of you who know me or who have been reading my previous blogs know how HILARIOUS this is because I LOVE the dentist. Dentists are my FAVORITE!
BTW, I did ask the missionaries who live in Alajuelita if they've ever come across a Peace Corps volunteer in the area. They said the didn't. Ah well, I tried. I was curious.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Invitation
What a crazy couple of weeks it has been!
On May 9th, 3 days after graduation, I left for Italy knowing that I was medically cleared and placement would be trying to contact me soon.
On May 11th I got an email from placement asking for an updated resume, my final transcript, a Skill Addendum form, and my answers to a questionnaire. I payed 10 euros for 8 hours of internet (obviously i didnt need all of that time) and had all the stuff handed in that night. I also let my Placement Officer know I was in Italy and asked that he please contact me by email and not phone.
On May 16th I got an email with 9 interview questions. This was a big deal because the questions gave me a lot of clues as to where I would be going. It asked if I was still ready to leave for Asia in July, if I would mind living with a host family, and if I could ride a bike 1-3 miles a day. This just screamed Cambodia! I actually had a concert in Italy to do about 2 hours after getting this email. It took a lot to stay focused on the task at hand. I hand-wrote my answers to the questions in a journal at restaraunt tha night, and then the following morning I went to an internet cafe in Florence and typed my answers into an email.
I returned home from Italy on May 19th. The plane landed, so I turned on my phone and started getting my bags together. Then I got a text message from my mom that said "your invitation just arrived". uhm... WHAT? So i called her and sure enough there was a big blue envelope waiting for me at my house. I told her to open it and tell me where and when!
Sure enough, I will be leaving for Cambodia on July 22nd to teach English!
I was really shocked actually. They must have overnighted my invitation or something. I hadn't heard of the Peace Corps doing that before. How crazy! So I'm glad to join my fellow K5-ers. Heres to an exciting new adventure.
_____________________________________________________
But what about Italy?
Italy was the best 10 days of my life, thanks for asking!
The best part of Italy hands down was the people I went with. I love my friends more than anything. They really get me more than anyone else has. I can't find words right now, so I'll be sappy about my friends another time. Also of course it was a blast to go with 2 favorite professors.
We saw so much in our 10 days. We were in Rome, Tivoli, Assisi, Sienna, San Gimignamo, Perugia, and Florence. Italy is a really fascinating and beautiful place and it is so rich in history, culture, and art. We saw so many cathedrals and fountains but I never got tired of it.
And of course I can't forget to tell you that we PERFORMED all around Italy. The trip was a tour for my college performing ensembles including the Chorus, Chamber Singers, and String Ensemble. Lucky me, I was a member of all 3. We had four big concerts, which were sooooo fun. We sang some amazing repertoire- such as Aaron Copland's In the Beginning, and loved every second of it. We more than just "like" that piece. I'd say were addicted to it. I also played violin with the String Ensemble (after all, that IS my major instrument lol). I got to play a solo part in a Corelli Concerto Grosso. I had never played a solo with an orchestral group before, so even though it was a small part, it was cool to do that in Italy. The string ensemble also played an arrangement I wrote of Lady Gaga's Telephone haha.
In addition to the scheduled concerts, we sang short memorized pieces in almost every Cathedral we visited. It was kind of like the flash mob concerts you see on youtube videos, except slightly more reverant (dont worry, we always got permission). The acoustics were always amazing. Every time after we sang I would melt into a puddle on the floor. It was all just an amazing opportunity.
_______________________________________________
I have so much more to write about! Opera, Wisdom Teeth, Costa Rica, and pre-Peace Corps preparations! I'll have to try to keep up with this blog a little better.
But for now I have to go. Wisdom teeth- it's been nice knowin' ya. Time for you to be extracted.
On May 9th, 3 days after graduation, I left for Italy knowing that I was medically cleared and placement would be trying to contact me soon.
On May 11th I got an email from placement asking for an updated resume, my final transcript, a Skill Addendum form, and my answers to a questionnaire. I payed 10 euros for 8 hours of internet (obviously i didnt need all of that time) and had all the stuff handed in that night. I also let my Placement Officer know I was in Italy and asked that he please contact me by email and not phone.
On May 16th I got an email with 9 interview questions. This was a big deal because the questions gave me a lot of clues as to where I would be going. It asked if I was still ready to leave for Asia in July, if I would mind living with a host family, and if I could ride a bike 1-3 miles a day. This just screamed Cambodia! I actually had a concert in Italy to do about 2 hours after getting this email. It took a lot to stay focused on the task at hand. I hand-wrote my answers to the questions in a journal at restaraunt tha night, and then the following morning I went to an internet cafe in Florence and typed my answers into an email.
I returned home from Italy on May 19th. The plane landed, so I turned on my phone and started getting my bags together. Then I got a text message from my mom that said "your invitation just arrived". uhm... WHAT? So i called her and sure enough there was a big blue envelope waiting for me at my house. I told her to open it and tell me where and when!
Sure enough, I will be leaving for Cambodia on July 22nd to teach English!
I was really shocked actually. They must have overnighted my invitation or something. I hadn't heard of the Peace Corps doing that before. How crazy! So I'm glad to join my fellow K5-ers. Heres to an exciting new adventure.
_____________________________________________________
But what about Italy?
Italy was the best 10 days of my life, thanks for asking!
The best part of Italy hands down was the people I went with. I love my friends more than anything. They really get me more than anyone else has. I can't find words right now, so I'll be sappy about my friends another time. Also of course it was a blast to go with 2 favorite professors.
We saw so much in our 10 days. We were in Rome, Tivoli, Assisi, Sienna, San Gimignamo, Perugia, and Florence. Italy is a really fascinating and beautiful place and it is so rich in history, culture, and art. We saw so many cathedrals and fountains but I never got tired of it.
And of course I can't forget to tell you that we PERFORMED all around Italy. The trip was a tour for my college performing ensembles including the Chorus, Chamber Singers, and String Ensemble. Lucky me, I was a member of all 3. We had four big concerts, which were sooooo fun. We sang some amazing repertoire- such as Aaron Copland's In the Beginning, and loved every second of it. We more than just "like" that piece. I'd say were addicted to it. I also played violin with the String Ensemble (after all, that IS my major instrument lol). I got to play a solo part in a Corelli Concerto Grosso. I had never played a solo with an orchestral group before, so even though it was a small part, it was cool to do that in Italy. The string ensemble also played an arrangement I wrote of Lady Gaga's Telephone haha.
In addition to the scheduled concerts, we sang short memorized pieces in almost every Cathedral we visited. It was kind of like the flash mob concerts you see on youtube videos, except slightly more reverant (dont worry, we always got permission). The acoustics were always amazing. Every time after we sang I would melt into a puddle on the floor. It was all just an amazing opportunity.
_______________________________________________
I have so much more to write about! Opera, Wisdom Teeth, Costa Rica, and pre-Peace Corps preparations! I'll have to try to keep up with this blog a little better.
But for now I have to go. Wisdom teeth- it's been nice knowin' ya. Time for you to be extracted.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
What is right is not always comfortable/ What is comfortable is not always right
Things are starting to sink in. I'm graduating tomorrow. But my graduation isn't like everyone else's. I don't mean that mine is more special- certainly not. We've all worked hard to get here and we've all accomplished the same thing. I mean from this point on.. things are just going to be very different. I feel like everyone is really comfortable with where they are going from here. They have their plans, their family, their friends, and most importantly each other. But me.. I'm leaving. Where? When? I don't know. And as much as I can pretend that my friends will always be there and that things wont change.. it's not true. My life will go on. Their lives will certainly go on. It's sad, but its the truth and it is one of the inevitable effects of Peace Corps service.
Can you tell I'm oddly emotional today? Cause I am. I don't know if I feel like I'm being pushed away, or if I feel like I NEED to push myself away. Maybe it's a combination of both. Regardless, I'm just in a different place now. The last chapter of my life is closing, and a new one is beginning; this time with a whole new setting and few of the same lovable characters. I need to accept the widening gap between me and my friends and my college years.
Devils Advocate: If you're so bent out of shape about it, then why are you doing the Peace Corps?
I've been thinking a lot about the expression "What is right is not always comfortable; what is comfortable is not always right". The Peace Corps is certainly not a comfortable path to take, but I know its the right one. The opportunity to serve another country for so long and really have an impact is irreplaceable. Sure I'm nervous and scared and all that stuff, but that doesn't mean I don't want to do it. I COULD just stay here, get a job, save some money, buy an apartment, go to grad school, etc. It would be really easy to do that and really comfortable, but I don't want to. It's comfortable, but it's just not right. At least not for me.
So yes, I just have to take a deep breath, take my diploma, and go. Instead of feeling bad about who/what I won't have, I need to just be grateful that I have had these things in my life. I know I will always look back with extreme fondness toward my college years. They have been the best yet, and probably always will be.
Anyways, in other - not so emotional - news, my medical review nurse called on Monday (finally!). She said that everything looks good EXCEPT I got the wrong Hepatitis B tests (?). So that day I was an awful student teacher. I left the high school, called doctors, and got the right ones done. I faxed the new results to DC last night, so I'm hoping for medical clearance by tomorrow or Monday.
Here's the wild card: I leave for Italy for 10 days on Monday. So if a Placement Officer tries to call me... I won't know about it until May 19th! yikes! I will be taking my computer with me though, solely just to be sure that if I get an email, I can respond to that. I will have my resume saved and ready to go, so if they email asking for an updated resume, I can do that from Italy.
After Italy (which is a concert tour of my college's Chorus, Chamber Singers, and String Ensemble- each of which I am a member of) I am home only for 10 days. Within THOSE ten days, I am performing in an opera in the city and I am getting my wisdom teeth out. Then on May 29th I leave on a mission trip for Costa Rica, where I will have NO contact with the Peace Corps. So this means that any contact with the peace corps needs to be between May 19th and 29th. Seems like such a tall order to expect! Clearly there is a reason why my bible verse for this week is "All things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to His purpose."
Here's the wild card: I leave for Italy for 10 days on Monday. So if a Placement Officer tries to call me... I won't know about it until May 19th! yikes! I will be taking my computer with me though, solely just to be sure that if I get an email, I can respond to that. I will have my resume saved and ready to go, so if they email asking for an updated resume, I can do that from Italy.
After Italy (which is a concert tour of my college's Chorus, Chamber Singers, and String Ensemble- each of which I am a member of) I am home only for 10 days. Within THOSE ten days, I am performing in an opera in the city and I am getting my wisdom teeth out. Then on May 29th I leave on a mission trip for Costa Rica, where I will have NO contact with the Peace Corps. So this means that any contact with the peace corps needs to be between May 19th and 29th. Seems like such a tall order to expect! Clearly there is a reason why my bible verse for this week is "All things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to His purpose."
Sunday, April 17, 2011
RAS RANT
I am getting so very antsy, Peace Corps.
You have now had my medical kit for almost 7 weeks. I still haven’t heard anything from Medical. L
I am nominated for Asia in July/August. People with this nomination so far have been invited to the Philippines July 1st. The beginning of July is in less than 11 weeks. I believe the rule is that Peace Corps has to give you an invitation at least 6 weeks before you leave. If I am going to the Philippines, I will be leaving July 1st. That means I would have to have my invitation by May 20th. Now, there are less than 5 weeks until May 20th. Placement usually takes 6-8 weeks. AND I’m not even up to placement yet because I’m still not medically cleared! AHHHHHH!
I know that the Peace Corps goes through all of the applicants’ files in order of importance of country and job and whatnot. But I can’t help but be confused as to why people are getting invitations now for September and even October.
For the record, I am totally open to the idea that my nomination can change and I could be going to a different region at a later departure date. Actually... I might even prefer that. But I’m just dying to get some answers.
And if this isn’t an RAS rant, I don’t know what is.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Help Me Out Here, PC
So I haven’t heard from the PC in a month. And yes that is killing me. They said they received my medical paperwork March 1st. Then life happened, which I will explain later, so I was really really anxious to get things moving again and to see if the Peace Corps is even going to happen at all. I emailed the medical office over this past weekend and got a response today. The nurse said that my file was assigned to a nurse to start getting reviewed this week. If I'm missing anything in my file I should hear back in 2-3 weeks. Then I should know if I'm cleared in 6-8 weeks. 6-8 weeks?????? That is like such a long time! But at least I’m in the loop now. I know that something is happening.
She also answered my question about whether or not I can go on to placement without having my wisdom teeth out yet. She said that I could, but definitely try to get it done ASAP. I wish I could just get it done now, but I can’t miss student teaching for that.
So let me tell you about how life happened and everything has been turned upside down.
For those of you who may not know because you live under a rock, schools are seeing budget cuts like crazy. The first programs to go are the music programs. The first teachers to go are the music teachers. This is the worst time for music majors to be graduating because there are no jobs. People are being fired, not hired. So perfect time for me to join the peace corps and wait it out! That’s what I thought. But then I was basically offered a job. WHAT??? After student teaching only 2 and a half days with the high school, the faculty advised me to apply for a maternity leave position, saying that I would be a successful candidate for that position. And did I mention that this is at one of the top high schools in the nation. Do you know what this would do for my career?
I was and still kind of am really confused about what I should be doing right now. I have been so set on the Peace Corps for almost a year now, but this is an option I never even considered. To be honest, I don’t even know what I want to do with the rest of my life. Do I want to teach music? Do I want to perform? Do I want to arrange music? Do I want to teach English? Do I want to live in a box on a street in NYC? I have no idea. The best answer that I have to the “what do you want to do question” is “I want to make my life worth something that I want to be proud of my accomplishments”. I want to leave this world in better shape than when I entered it. I also want to go far in whatever field I enter.
After a lot of thought, I decided that the Peace Corps is my top choice for short term goals. I spent a lot of time watching PC videos and reading blogs this weekend to remind myself of why I applied in the first place. But, there is still the chance that I could get medically deferred, or my departure date could be moved to a much later date, or they can just.. deny me all together. I need to know! If that is the case, then I need to be putting all my efforts into Plan B- which is the HS teaching job. It is crunch time. NOW is decision making time. Help me out here PC.
P.S. Lets discuss Asia in August, shall we? Clearly there is a mystery departure date in August for what country? I dunno. My nomination was for Late July-early August. When the Philippines was put in early July, I just thought it would mean Cambodia, which leaves July 19th. However, I’ve noticed that other people have nominations for Asia in August. No one has an invitation yet though. Where could it be????
Monday, March 7, 2011
March has come, March is going...
On February 22nd I mailed in my Medical forms, jumped and clicked my heels, and started the real waiting game.
On March 1st (Peace Corps 50th Anniversary) I got every applicant’s favorite email saying “Your application status has been updated”. The update just says that they have received my paperwork. But they have not yet started reviewing it. I assume I’ll get another status update when that begins.
I’ve been feeling RAS (Restless Applicant Syndrome) for weeks now, but at this point it is more than ever. It is completely out of my hands. The ball is in their court and I just have to wait and see what happens.
I especially feel like I need to know because if the Peace Corps is not going to happen, I need to be making other plans with my life! I am graduating in less than 2 months without a job and without even a plan. If I wasn’t doing the Peace Corps, I would be applying for grad school NOW. I should be working on applications for graduate assistantship positions and such. The positions are going to close in like a month and if the Peace Corps doesn’t happen, I am out of luck.
It’s also weird for me because my friends are all making their plans. I am so proud of my friends. They are all going to be amazing, whether they get teaching jobs or they go off into the world of performing music. It is weird for them to tell me about their near future plans and then not have anything to offer in return other than- “I might be living in a third world country in four months. Would you care to visit?” Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE hearing about the futures of my friends. I just wish I also had some concrete plans that I can throw into the mix of my graduating class.
Cambodia leaves July 19th. So far, that is the closest departure date to what I was nominated for (asia late July-august). Cambodia would be very very cool. I enjoy telling people that I’m moving to Cambodia. I wasn’t too thrilled with an Asia nomination, but Cambodia would be the best case scenario I think.
To sum it all up, life is pretty good. I’m about halfway done with student teaching. I am about to switch over to the high school to teach orchestra, lessons, and music theory there. ESL tutoring is going well. I enjoy working with students, especially as I start to see improvement from week to week. It is very satisfying. And last but not least, I am trying to get in as much quality time with music as possible. I am enjoying the 4 ensembles I am in, and I am constantly just absorbing myself with music whether it is alone in a practice room or with friends.
Don’t forget to stop and smell the Long Island roses.
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