Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder

            It is so interesting the way different countries perceive beauty, especially when you compare Western countries and Eastern countries.

            In Cambodia, the most beloved feature a person can have is white skin, which is really kind of absurd, because Khmer people have the darkest skin of any other Asian country. Every type of soap, make-up, lotion, etc. has some sort of “advanced whitening formula”. Like our toothpastes, except for their skin. I doubt those actually work, but Khmer people (especially women) use it to no end. They also stay out of the sun as much as possible. And I mean they really go out of their way to stay out of the sun. If they DO have to go out and travel, or work in the fields, they will be wearing long pants, long sleeves, a hat with a wide brim, and even a surgeon’s mask. The surgeon mask has a dual purpose. It keeps the sun off the face, and the dust out of the lungs. Some Khmer women, even wear these crazy thong socks. My sister loves these things. The first time I ever got tipsy, at the ripe old age of 14, I invented the thong sock- a sock with a part between your big toe and the next toe. That way, you could wear socks AND flip flops. Well, somebody must have stolen my idea and ran with it, cuz now they are all the rage in Cambodia! Anything to keep your feet white..

            Everywhere I go, people comment first about my white skin, which actually isn’t very white anymore. Old ladies and children like to feel it, to make sure it’s real. Sometimes people will put their own arm next to mine and talk about how much more beautiful I am. Of course I never just let that go. I have a conversation at least once a day about how American’s actually prefer darker skin. I tell them about how people lay out in the sun, just to make their skin darker. That is just insanity to them. I tried also explaining about tanning salons, but they couldn’t even begin to fathom that.

            Sometimes it’s really sad to hear Khmer people talking about how much they desire white skin. I’ve heard people say things like “If I ride my bike at this time, my husband would stop loving me because I would be blacker” or “I don’t love her because she is black, but I married her anyway” or even “my daughter/son is not beautiful because s/he is black”. The only thing I can do is tell them how beautiful I think they are or whoever. I do my best

            The next important feature is the nose. Khmer people like straight, long, pointy noses. Of course, this is very different from their own small, wide, rounded noses. Many of them have noses that we would call “as cute as a button”, but they look at my beak of a nose and say “wow! Beautiful!” I’ve definitely never been complimented about my nose before I got here.

            Khmer people also prefer lighter hair. A few Khmer people actually dye their hair blonde, but it looks terrible, and I think most Khmer people know that. Instead, Khmer women and some men try to go for a dark red color, to lighten their long black locks. Students and teachers, however, are not allowed to dye their hair, as I found out recently. One of my students asked me why I didn’t dye my hair black. Turns out, teachers and students are forbidden to dye their hair blonde or red or any other color. After that was all cleared up, I laughed and explained to her that I don’t dye my hair. It’s natural. And I would look really silly with black hair.

            Interestingly enough, Khmer people prefer small eyes. They are not impressed by the big eyes of foreigners. The various colors of eyes (aside from their dark brown) interests them a little, but I very rarely hear about my eyes. It’s always my skin, sometimes my nose, and rarely my hair.

            I’m a little unclear about the Khmer stance on fatness. I think they like a little fat. Or as they say it, they like having some meat on the body. But in a country where, genetically, they people are mostly stick thin, “having a little meat” is the same as someone considered skinny in America. They don’t view obesity as beautiful, but it can sometimes be a status thing- basically showing that yes, I have enough money to feed my family and then some. So my family is having a great time watching me gain a little weight, but my brother and sister always tease each other for being “fat” and tell each other to stop eating.

            Oh, I almost forgot! Arm hair! Hahaha Khmer people LOVE my arm hair. Now, my arms look absolutely ridiculous. My skin is golden brown from the sun, but the sun also made my thick arm hair really really white. You can’t miss it. My friends would tease me so much if they could see it! But here, everyone loves it. Legit. They think it’s beautiful. I often catch people sneaking up to pet my arms. They must think that I wont feel it if they gently pet my arm hair haha. Sometimes when I am giving students individual help, they stop listening to what I say and instead just pet my arm. It’s so weird! But hilarious and sorta flattering. I miss the teasing about my arms though. I try to tease myself in front of my family, and see if I can get them to tease me too, but they just tell my they like it.

            Now there are a list of other things that, in America, subtract from beauty, but in Cambodia, don’t make a difference.

            The most disturbing thing on the list is mole hair. Let me tell you, there are some really impressive hairy moles in Cambodia, and Khmer people, especially men, wear them with pride almost. I will never understand this. Some hairy moles have longs strands over 3 inches long! Coming off of their FACE! Why on EARTH don’t you shave that thing?? But they don’t. They let it grow.

            Khmer men also like to grow out one of their nails. I couldn’t tell you why. I tried to find out, but they basically told me “for no reason. Just because we can.” So they will have one beautifully rounded long nail, that juts out past the tip of their finger nearly a centimeter.

            Women here don’t shave their legs. And I gotta tell you, I’m jealous! Shaving is such a hassle. And once you start- there’s no going back. Your hair is thick and black after that. And I am honestly not bothered by their hairy legs. I rarely see it though. Khmer women wear long skirts and pants.

            Peace Corps really stresses how every individual volunteer in every country has a completely different experience, and as cliché as it is, it is 100% true. People react to me based on how I look all day every day. I am given some prestige, simply because I have white skin.  But I also lose some prestige, simply because I am a woman. In general, people WANT to talk to me and be around me because they believe I am beautiful. Sometimes this works to my advantage, and sometimes it is a disadvantage. It’s good to be accepted, but sometimes people wont look past my skin or my looks. Those are the men that scream “I love you” at me as I ride by. They don’t care that I’m on my way to teach at the school for no money, or that I’m here to improve their village. It’s just a good joke with their friends to talk about the hott white foreigner who now lives in their town. Sometimes even my male co-teachers will fight over who gets to teach with me, and very often I feel that it’s more because of what I look like than because of my teaching skills.

            Anyway, so this is my experience and mine alone. Maybe some people have similar, but never the same. After all, there is no one out there who looks exactly like me. (I COULD pass for a younger Uma Thurman though, so I am told).

1. The pond in my backyard.

2. 3. My kitchen, underneath my house.

4. The hallway in the back of my house. In the bottom right corner, you can see a bit of the white doorway to the bathroom. The other doors on the right are where my other brother and sister live. To the left is the main living area.

5. The bathroom. Yes, this one has a western style toilet! Don't get too excited, there's still no running water, and no toilet paper. 

6. My family's dog- Keekee. He's hanging out on the stairs in the back of the house. He's a really sweet dog, but unfortunately very dirty. He likes me though cuz I dont yell at him, and cuz I sometimes pat his head. He's got such a sweet face!