What is right is not always comfortable/ What is comfortable is not always right

          Things are starting to sink in. I'm graduating tomorrow. But my graduation isn't like everyone else's. I don't mean that mine is more special- certainly not. We've all worked hard to get here and we've all accomplished the same thing. I mean from this point on.. things are just going to be very different. I feel like everyone is really comfortable with where they are going from here. They have their plans, their family, their friends, and most importantly each other. But me.. I'm leaving. Where? When? I don't know. And as much as I can pretend that my friends will always be there and that things wont change.. it's not true. My life will go on. Their lives will certainly go on. It's sad, but its the truth and it is one of the inevitable effects of Peace Corps service.

          Can you tell I'm oddly emotional today? Cause I am. I don't know if I feel like I'm being pushed away, or if I feel like I NEED to push myself away. Maybe it's a combination of both. Regardless, I'm just in a different place now. The last chapter of my life is closing, and a new one is beginning; this time with a whole new setting and few of the same lovable characters. I need to accept the widening gap between me and my friends and my college years.

          Devils Advocate: If you're so bent out of shape about it, then why are you doing the Peace Corps?

I've been thinking a lot about the expression "What is right is not always comfortable; what is comfortable is not always right". The Peace Corps is certainly not a comfortable path to take, but I know its the right one. The opportunity to serve another country for so long and really have an impact is irreplaceable. Sure I'm nervous and scared and all that stuff, but that doesn't mean I don't want to do it. I COULD just stay here, get a job, save some money, buy an apartment, go to grad school, etc. It would be really easy to do that and really comfortable, but I don't want to. It's comfortable, but it's just not right. At least not for me.

          So yes, I just have to take a deep breath, take my diploma, and go. Instead of feeling bad about who/what I won't have, I need to just be grateful that I have had these things in my life. I know I will always look back with extreme fondness toward my college years. They have been the best yet, and probably always will be. 

          Anyways, in other - not so emotional - news, my medical review nurse called on Monday (finally!). She said that everything looks good EXCEPT I got the wrong Hepatitis B tests (?). So that day I was an awful student teacher. I left the high school, called doctors, and got the right ones done. I faxed the new results to DC last night, so I'm hoping for medical clearance by tomorrow or Monday.

          Here's the wild card: I leave for Italy for 10 days on Monday. So if a Placement Officer tries to call me... I won't know about it until May 19th! yikes! I will be taking my computer with me though, solely just to be sure that if I get an email, I can respond to that. I will have my resume saved and ready to go, so if they email asking for an updated resume, I can do that from Italy.

          After Italy (which is a concert tour of my college's Chorus, Chamber Singers, and String Ensemble- each of which I am a member of) I am home only for 10 days. Within THOSE ten days, I am performing in an opera in the city and I am getting my wisdom teeth out. Then on May 29th I leave on a mission trip for Costa Rica, where I will have NO contact with the Peace Corps. So this means that any contact with the peace corps needs to be between May 19th and 29th. Seems like such a tall order to expect! Clearly there is a reason why my bible verse for this week is "All things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to His purpose."